So, my biweekly actual blog post.

I don’t have anything particularly remarkable to report, I’m just trying to keep up with posting on a semi-regular basis. I’ve been taking pictures, concentrating mostly more on developing my eye and framing than on the more technical aspects for the time being. I’ve gone on “expeditions” to Coney Island and Chinatown so far, and have rather been enjoying myself, without thinking too much about whether my pictures are good or not. I let them sit in my camera to “marinate,” if you will, for a few days before uploading them. Some of what I’ve taken is not bad, as best as I can tell. I don’t know that I’m quite ready for constructive criticism yet, because the minute I start worrying about what other people are going to think of something I’ve created is the minute it stops being fun. I’ve read enough photography blogs at this point to realize that photographers are as big a bunch of smug, pretentious wet ends as any other artist, and while I wouldn’t mind identifying myself as a “photographer” I don’t really feel like learning the passwords and secret handshakes it requires to get that kind of recognition from others.

On the other hand, I did buy books highlighting the work of Diane Arbus, Nan Goldin, and Zoe Strauss, so maybe I’ve already got the pretentious part down. On the other hand, I didn’t pay full price for them, so I’m probably safe.

I’m also planning to buy a photographer pass for the pre-staging of this year’s Mermaid Parade, down in Coney Island. Basically what this will allow me to do is go to the area where the people marching in the parade get ready before showtime. It’s not the same thing as a press pass, they make they unequivocally clear, but it is a way in to a cool little thing that not everybody gets to see. I’m sure there will be capital-P Photographers there, most of whom will have way more fancier gear than me, but that’s okay, I’ll have paid my way, I’ll have as much right to be there as anyone else. That’s the frame of mind I’m trying to stay in for this. Saturday night I went to opening night of a gallery show I was interested in seeing. Normally I’m not an “opening night of a gallery show” type of person, mostly because I’m convinced that as soon as I walk through the door an alarm will start shrieking “INTRUDER! INTRUDER!” That’s related to the Mrs. White voice in my head, the one who, if I consider going even slightly outside the box I’ve created for myself, inevitably responds, “Don’t do it, they’re all gonna laugh at you!”

But, eh, who cares. It was a free event, invitations were not required, so I went, and no one looked at me with a “who farted?” expression. I think I’m still stuck on this notion that life is like high school, and that it’s plausible that an adult would approach another adult at a public event and say “You don’t belong here,” with an 80s teen movie villain sneer on his or her face. Nobody cared, and I didn’t do anything to embarrass myself, like mistaking an art installation for a light switch, or vice versa. Forging ahead and giving no shits is something I should consider doing more often.

In regards to the depression thing, I feel like I’m ever so slowly, painstakingly rising out of the funk. Of course, I say this coming out of a four day weekend, get back to me tomorrow after I’ve done nine hours at my job dealing with angry people. Taking pictures has helped, as has making plans well into the summer. Also, fates willing, I might be able to get some actual professional help (!!!) in the very near future. I don’t want to get into specifics until it’s all settled, though, as I’m a big believer in the almighty power of jinxing oneself. There will be a post ahead, though, so you have that to look forward to.

Other than that…yeah, there really is no other than that. I’ve just been maintaining, and sometimes that’s all you can do.

queerlyobscure:

Y’know people say shit about social media along the lines of ‘OMG no one cares what anyone had for breakfast’ and like.

I do? I care. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care. I want to hear that the people I care about are having delicious breakfasts or saw something odd at work or flirted with a cute barista. Or just any little thoughts they have that they feel are worth sharing.

I’ve always kind of assumed that’s how you’re supposed to feel about your friends.

yessssss exactly

(via tasteslikehappy)

Reblogged from queerlyobscure

dataangel:

trilla-and-vanilla:

yahoneydip:

This fucking woman

me in the future..i wanna be like her when i grow up

Hey mom. I found a new bestie for you.

Goals.

Also, I seriously want that Ganesha wall hanging in the background of the “chillin” picture.

Reblogged from yahoneydip

Easter Parade (1948, dir. Charles Walters)

Movies seen in 2014: 26

It was either this or watch six fucking hours of Cheech & Chong movies on IFC.