Maybe it’s impending decrepitude, but I’ve been in a weird head space recently. It’s really hitting me how much of my everyday life I waste on stupid bullshit. I’m not necessarily talking about time sucks like Facebook and Tumblr (though of course that’s part of it), I’m talking about things in general. Stuff like worrying incessantly about everything, particularly things I have no control over whether I worry about them or not. Or dragging my feet on looking for a new job, because I waste precious time talking myself into believing that complacency is the better choice. Or following people online that I have no connection with, or even aggravate me in some way.
Lately my unfriending finger has been strong. I’ve cleaned house on Facebook, Twitter, and LiveJournal, whatever’s left of that. It got to the point where, instead of just asking myself “Why I am “friends” with this person?” and then ignoring a very logical question, I went on and pondered “Yeah, why am I “friends” with this person?” I put “friends” in quotes, because most of these people weren’t my friends, they were people who, for whatever reason, I became acquainted with through various social networking venues. My life was not richer for being aware of their existence, nor do I think was theirs for being aware of mine. So, fuck it. Unfriend. If they noticed any difference, it would come as a total surprise to me.
Now, one person I let go was someone I had considered a friend for quite a few years, but felt that in recent times we no longer had anything to offer each other. It’s not her, it’s me. I found myself increasingly judgmental of the decisions she had been making in her life, and I don’t like feeling that way, because honestly it’s none of my business what the fuck people do with themselves. I reacted so negatively to something she had posted elsewhere that there seemed to be no other choice I could make—I had to cut my losses and walk away. I had nothing I could give her anymore. Like everybody else, I only have a finite number of days on this planet. I want to be a friend, not an audience member, not a “you go, girl/boy” cheerleader, and definitely not an enabler.
Eh, well, anyway, I probably sound like a gigantic asshole. I accept that.
I can’t tell you how many people have told me, “When I go to the movies, I don’t want to think.”
Does that offend you as a filmmaker?
It offends me as a human being. Why wouldn’t you want to think? What does that mean? Why not just shoot yourself in the fucking head?