Slacked off yet again in blogging. I think I’m kidding myself with thinking that I’ll eventually return to posting regularly. I’ve been saying that for about five years now, and it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t want to say that I’ve lost the mojo for it, but it definitely feels more like a chore now—“Ugh, I guess I better post something so people will keep reading.” I’m genuinely baffled at bloggers who are still going strong after a decade or so. Hell, I’m genuinely baffled at how I kept it up for more than five years straight. How the hell did I have so much to say then? My life is not any less interesting now. I guess I’ve just become more selective about what I want to say in my old age. And also, well, let’s be honest, it’s getting to be like talking to an empty room anyway. I miss LiveJournal terribly, but those days are gone now, and short of Facebook and Twitter just suddenly imploding one day and disappearing forever, they’re not coming back.

Things are okay here. My mood is holding steady, for the most part. Fall is usually an up time for me anyway. I went on an all too brief but wonderful vacation in August. My kid started her senior year of high school, which I am handling with a minimal amount of melodramatic breakdowns, though, man, this applying to college shit is really overwhelming. My sister, who had exiled herself to North Dakota for a few years, is moving back to this side of the world, which means I will happily get to see her more often. I’ve been doing good on the photographing and making things front. I’ve also been doing good with the watching more movies thing, and there’s a lot of great shit coming out over the next couple of months. I got a ticket to a sneak preview of The Babadook, an Australian horror movie I’ve been looking forward to for months. It’s a blessing to be easily pleased.

So yeah, things have been okay. I really have no complaints, so I guess by that definition my life is pretty boring right now, but I’m perfectly fine with that. I find my fun and joy in many different ways, and I’m extremely fortunate for that.

But maybe it won’t be another month or so before I post actual content here again, yeah? 









soooooo is no one going to say ANYTHING about how this woman is full of shit?

like oh, you needed a fat suit to learn that fat people aren’t treated well? OR HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LISTEN TO THE ENDLESS STORIES FROM ACTUAL FAT WOMEN WHO COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THIS IN TWO SECONDS

you needed a fat suit to show that people don’t like when people use “fake” images …. I GET IT THAT IT’S SUPPOSEDLY STILL THE SAME PERSON but i mean, this is why i keep my pics up to date, because i don’t want to put myself through this

I’d be just as displeased if some guy showed up looking 40 when he said he was 25 (has happened), so I mean, what is this experiment proving other than “people on dating sites expect you to look like your photo, regardless of what you look like/weigh”

and you couldn’t find an actually fat woman for this entirely POINTLESS “experiment”

my body is not your fucking costume

the struggles and hardships i face from a fatphobic society don’t come off at the end of the day. I can’t unzip my oppression and slide it off


Like oh, you felt bad because some guys left you while in a fat suit? But you KNOW you get to take it off later. You KNOW this isn’t something you’ve dealt with for 20+ years, and likely won’t have to ever experience once the suit is gone. 

Wear that suit, EVERY DAY, even in the shower, for 20+ years, FROM CHILDHOOD, THEN fucking tell me what you’ve learned. Until then, get the fuck out of my face with this social experiment bullshit

What. Fucking. Bullshit.

This “experiment” is completely fucked up in every way it could be. Aside from the OBVIOUS offensiveness of treating fat bodies as costumes to take on and off, what they are doing is actually reenacting a FAT SHAMING fantasy. Fat bigots created the fantasy of the deceitful fatty posting brazenly dishonest photos of themselves on dating sites to lure men in. But that’s a myth fat haters created to vindicate their disgust of fat people.

It. Doesn’t. Happen.

(And fuck any “Well Actually” bullshit. I don’t care if you can find an isolated instance of it happening. All Catfish does is troll the internet trying desperately to find those isolated instances. They are so rare that in the real world, the instances still round down to NONE.)

By being credulous of this lie, the experiment is useless. They craft a scenario where the “fat woman” really is lying to these men so it becomes impossible to detach their reactions from disgust with her body and disgust with being lied to.

People are allowed to be attracted to thin bodies. What they aren’t allowed to do is to translate a lack of attraction to a moral failing. What they aren’t allowed to do is be disgusted with bodies that don’t happen to turn them on. What they aren’t allowed to do is shielded from any critical examination of how attraction to thin bodies is socially conditioned and privileged. But at the end of the day, no one thinks anyone is obligated to fuck anyone they don’t want to. Experiments like this ignore meaningful questions about how fat women are treated in favor of scolding men for being taken aback when their date turns out to be a thin woman in a fucking obvious fat suit.

What they COULD have done but didn’t because this would have involved empowering ACTUAL fat women to tell their ACTUAL story is had an actual fat woman go on Tinder with photos that are completely accurate but also posed in a manner that might be regarded as “conventionally” flattering. Because that’s what is really behind the fever dream they re-enacted instead. The guys flipping out over being lied to are firstly never attractive themselves and “being lied to” is always them hoping a woman is thinner than she looks and being resentful that their fat shaming gamble didn’t pay out.

OR you could drop the bullshit notion of needing to conduct an experiment all together and just interview fat women about their experiences on dating sites. EVERY fat woman I know has stories of guys seeking them out to abuse them. EVERY fat woman has stories about guys responding to a polite but firm rejection with abuse. EVERY fat woman has stories of guys who ARE are attracted to fat women but act entitled to their attention and affection. Tell THOSE stories. Not some fantasy that is more at place on some fat trolling sub-Reddit.

And let’s not forget the fact that this video was advertised and titled “Hot Girl Wears Fat Suit On Tinder Dates…” which strongly implies that hot = thin and fat = not hot. The whole concept and execution of this “experiment” is fatphobic and disgusting.

as a not-skinny woman who got insulted on okcupid dates cos my photo was “misleading,” i could easily have contributed to the anecdotal evidence. it’s not that hard to ask how we feel.

I’ll take this shit seriously when someone can make a fat suit where it doesn’t look like the person’s face is melting. Real fat people don’t look like Dick Tracy villains.

Reblogged from sizvideos